...but waking up to hear that he was put on a ventilator overnight was not expected.
The emotions are high on all sides.
Colton is not a fan of the mask, and it looks so so sad!
I think we are all feeling emotionally exhausted and I know personally, my patience is wearing thin.
The longer he is sick and the worse he gets, the harder it is to praise and trust God.
This morning, I was honestly angry with God.
My thoughts were somewhere along the lines of, "God, you could snap your fingers and Colton could be healed. Why are You making him suffer? Why are You making his family suffer? Why is this sickness lasting so long? Why does so much of his life being spent between 4 hospital walls? Hello? What are you doing here? How could you?!"
Yeah, completely wrong and blasphemous. I know.
Not a place for my heart to be hiding.
But not a place that I haven't been in before.
A few weeks ago in church the point was brought up that we may never see the "why" in this lifetime.
And we aren't entitled to it.
Just like since Colton was born into a sinful world, and unfortunately as much as I wish he was, he is not entitled to an easy first month on Earth.
God is still in control and He is on His throne.
While we may wonder the specifics of why specifically this had to happen to sweet Colton, we know ultimately, God WILL be glorified through it all.
And that's what I've decided to try to cling to.
I know you know the deal with my mom and I've been asking myself the "why" all day since I found out it's most likely going to be terminal. But we can still hope and pray, and I know your sweet little nephew has lots of hopes and prayers being sent up for him right now. Trust God, even when you don't understand Him. That's the hardest part, but I know your faith is strong. God has a plan for Colton. You have to believe that. Believe in Him. Otherwise, things just get too hard.
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