Where I'm Meant To Be

I don’t even know where to start, so I guess I’ll just let my thoughts tumble out of my brain, through my fingers, and on to this page and then see where it goes.

Yesterday, I wrote my post “Table for one”. Basically that was my realistic (and sarcastic) look at how I’m dealing with being here at work while “my” team is in Chenzhou with “my” babies.

I’ll admit it easily. I was throwing myself the biggest, most over-blown pity party I have ever thrown.

In my mind, its justified. I mean, I wasn't mad because I was missing out on a vacation to some tropical island. I was sad that I wasn't in China, holding babies without Mamas and Babas and trying to go be love to them.

Contrary to what some may think, going to China is no vacation. Sure, we may tour, but I can speak for myself and all that have gone and continue to go that our focus even as we are seeing these famous sites, is getting to “our” kids and nannies.

Anyways, wasn't it ok for me to be upset over not bringing what small gifts and talents I have to these sweet children? Isn't it ok to be sad to be here, at a job that seems meaningless compared to what the team is on mission for?

Sad…yes. Throwing myself a pity party and not being thankful for a job that was an answer to prayer just a few short weeks ago? Ummm…NO.

I know God has placed in my life the people he has for many reasons. And I am still finding these out as I go about my days.

 For example, Chad is a huge part of who I have to thank for bringing me back from pity party land. He pointed out that I was being a little overboard with the sulking and sadness. And while at first I was resentful to his observation, I thought over it and he was right. (DON’T tell him I said that…I’ll never hear the end of it!)

I am where I am, sitting at my desk at work, waiting for the phone to ring, because God put me here. And who am I to pout and sulk because I didn’t get my first choice of where I’d like to be at this moment?

So bear with me as I try to reign it back in and remember that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

And while you're at it, pray these things over my sweet friends on Team '13:

That everyone stays healthy

That the lost luggage is found

That opportunities will arise for them to share with the nannies, directors, and guide

That they get rest and are ready for a new day (It's 12:15am there right now)