Only Me...

You know when you have something happen and in those moments where you think, "Sheesh. This would only happen to me, no one else, only me."

I had one of those today.

Today was your typical casual Friday in corporate world.

I got up, got ready, and actually managed a cute outfit to wear.

I had the usual commute, the usual coffee, the usual phone problems, everything like normal.

At about 9:30 the pest control guy showed up in the lobby.

He comes quarterly, so this was my first time seeing him.

I let him go about his job as I went back to mine.

He started by spraying around the lobby and my desk.

A few minutes later, my eyes started to water, and my chest got a little burning sensation, and I began to itch. So I took a allergy pill and tried to go back to work.

But then it started to get worse and I started to feel the adrenaline waves.

Crap. I was having a reaction to the pesticide.

I talked to my branch manager and he told me to go take 20 minutes and get some air to see if it would help.

On my way out the door he mentioned to the pest control guy that I was reacting and the guy said I was the FIRST PERSON he had ever heard of reacting to it in all of his years in the industry.

Awesome. Only me.

So I spent 20 minutes browsing the local QT and consulting with my mom and Hubs about anything else I could do to remedy this thing.

After popping some Benadryl, I went back to work.

In the time it took for me to walk in the door and to the back room, the symptoms started back, this time accompanied by splotchy skin.

I tired to go back to work and started to shake a little, so when the branch manager walked by my desk, he asked if I needed to go home.

Yeah, I gave up fighting this thing.

I told him I was going to email HR really quick, and he told me not to worry and to leave.

And asked if I was ok to drive or needed him to follow me home.

I declined but he made me promise to call to tell him I got home okay.

I guess I gave him a little scare.

So now I am at home ready to nap since this Benadryl is making me drowsy.

"The only one in all of his years in the industry to ever react to this pesticide."

The dude was probably in his fifties.

And said he had roughly 25 years in the industry.

And I was the first one to report a reaction.

Yep, only me.

TMM: Mutual Fund Fun (?)

Chad and I were reading the Total Money Makeover (TMM) book again last night.

Remember how I had mentioned that having a spouse who works in Finance makes for an interesting time reading this book?

Ummm...yeah...about that...

Last night, Ramsey wrote that instead of going into debt over buying a car, you should save up enough to purchase a lower value car, save up again and trace that car in and with the two get a better car, etc.

He cited how if that money was put in a mutual fund gaining 12% interest, you would make "x" dollars rather than paying interest.

At that point, Chad stopped me from going on and gave me a several minute lecture on how he was going to have to do more research on that number to see what the current going rate was.

He then proceeded to discuss rate of inflation vs. rate of interest gained, average rate of money gain over the years the money sits in the mutual fund, and some other stuff that I don't totally remember because I am pretty sure my eyes glazed over when I heard the term "mutual fund."

Just kidding, Chad!

....well...mostly kidding...

I am really giving this thing my best effort.

However, if there's one thing I have learned through my 4 years at college that only got me a two year degree (and the debt that we are reading this book to help pay off!), I am a "do-er".

And Chad is a learner.

So he is probably loving the theory behind all of Dave's teaching, however, I am not so much a fan of this part as I am sure I will be of the "okay this is how we practically put this into action" part.

But we are still reading on and putting our very best effort into it!

A Total Money Makeover: Rucker Style

 "If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else."

If you know who said this, you know the journey Chad and I are embarking on. If you don’t, here’s a hint:

Its Dave Ramsey.

If you don’t know who he is, you’ve probably not been watching much news.

Dave Ramsey is the writer of “The Total Money Makeover”.

He wrote it to show his plan (tested by his very family) to get out of debt and build wealth.

Have I lost you yet?

No? Ok good.

Chad and I are still newly married. We are also newly out of college as of May, meaning that November is looming ahead of us.

What’s in November?

The end of our student load “grace periods”.

Meaning a LOT of our take home pay is going towards paying off the debt we acquired while attending college.

Let me say that again…

A LOT of our take home.

As in, half of my yearly paycheck is going to pay off money we owe.

In case you haven’t guessed, that’s not exactly a comfortable place to be in.

It’s actually quite a bummer.

We have a LOT of things we want to do and places we want to go, but until at least a big chunk of that is gone, there will be no vacationing and no home purchasing.

Which brings us back to the Total Money Makeover.

This book outlines Dave’s plan to get towards our goals of adoption, travel and owning a home.

Which involves first some pretty “radical” principles, if you think in today’s world view, of money management.

We are only through the Intro and first two chapters, and I can already tell we are in for quite a ride.

With a spouse who has degrees in Business AND Economics, I can already see him and Dave butting heads.

Since he has already refuted some of the things we have read.

Neither of us are discounting Dave’s principles, but I would say Chad is a little more skeptical than myself.

So, keep us in mind the next few weeks as we read and wrestle with this thing called money.

So what about you?

Have you done the makeover?

Does it work?

Do you have any tips for us as we take this ride?

Celebrating Mr. and Mrs. Mann

The Girls

Liz and her dress!

The sweetest moment #1

The sweetest #2

The Guys

Mr. and Mrs. Lucas (Mann)!

The guys standing in as security.

Right There.

The team is home. They are home and safe. There were delays and missed connections, but coming home from where they were, these things pale in comparison.

Because this morning as I was reading their “goodbye” blogs, I was right there with them.

I was right back in that room on floor nine.

Right back to eating Chinese cake.

Right back to the children performing, the pictures being taken, and everyone forcing themselves to be happy, although we all knew the heart-wrenching moments to come.

I am personally not good at saying goodbye to those I care about.

And I care about those kids; more than I ever thought possible.

So “being” right there with them as they kissed the babies one last time, snuggled the bigger children, and hugged the nannies, I felt that pain.

The pain of trying to squeeze out every last drop of love in your heart to give to these kids until the next time we could visit, or better yet, when their parents come to bring them home.

The pain of looking into the eyes of the nannies and seeing tears.

The pain of the bigger children yelling “jie jie! Jie jie!” (big sister, big sister!) As if begging us not to leave while they tug on our hands, trying desperately to keep us there.

It hurts. So bad.

It’s a deeper hurt than almost anything I have felt in my life.

It’s the loss of another year as the kids grow.

It’s the grief over losing a sweet child who never knew a mama and baba.

It’s the sadness of knowing that some of these children will never know what it’s like to be tucked into bed; to not have a parent’s bed to climb into after a bad dream.

Walking away from these kids is heartbreaking.

Some of us cry outwardly, some of us walk away in a complete daze, but then burst into tears at the most random times in the coming weeks.

THIS is what it is like to leave these kids.

THIS hurt is what the team members are left to wrestle with in the first few weeks after being home.

Pray for the team, y’all.

Their mission is not over yet.

Because they were right there, in the thick of where God called them to be.

Right there, with the “least of these”.

And right there, loving these beautiful children and nannies.

Right there, where we all wish we could be again.

Where I'm Meant To Be

I don’t even know where to start, so I guess I’ll just let my thoughts tumble out of my brain, through my fingers, and on to this page and then see where it goes.

Yesterday, I wrote my post “Table for one”. Basically that was my realistic (and sarcastic) look at how I’m dealing with being here at work while “my” team is in Chenzhou with “my” babies.

I’ll admit it easily. I was throwing myself the biggest, most over-blown pity party I have ever thrown.

In my mind, its justified. I mean, I wasn't mad because I was missing out on a vacation to some tropical island. I was sad that I wasn't in China, holding babies without Mamas and Babas and trying to go be love to them.

Contrary to what some may think, going to China is no vacation. Sure, we may tour, but I can speak for myself and all that have gone and continue to go that our focus even as we are seeing these famous sites, is getting to “our” kids and nannies.

Anyways, wasn't it ok for me to be upset over not bringing what small gifts and talents I have to these sweet children? Isn't it ok to be sad to be here, at a job that seems meaningless compared to what the team is on mission for?

Sad…yes. Throwing myself a pity party and not being thankful for a job that was an answer to prayer just a few short weeks ago? Ummm…NO.

I know God has placed in my life the people he has for many reasons. And I am still finding these out as I go about my days.

 For example, Chad is a huge part of who I have to thank for bringing me back from pity party land. He pointed out that I was being a little overboard with the sulking and sadness. And while at first I was resentful to his observation, I thought over it and he was right. (DON’T tell him I said that…I’ll never hear the end of it!)

I am where I am, sitting at my desk at work, waiting for the phone to ring, because God put me here. And who am I to pout and sulk because I didn’t get my first choice of where I’d like to be at this moment?

So bear with me as I try to reign it back in and remember that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

And while you're at it, pray these things over my sweet friends on Team '13:

That everyone stays healthy

That the lost luggage is found

That opportunities will arise for them to share with the nannies, directors, and guide

That they get rest and are ready for a new day (It's 12:15am there right now)

Table for One

Amy's pity party; table for one please!

Yeah. I admit it. Even though its a short worl week im throwing myself a major pity party.

Why?

Because team 2014 is in China right now and im in misery...ahem...missouri.

I love.my job. Its great, but its no Chenzhou.

The team is sleeping off their long travel marathon and getting ready to see the kids.

The kids i miss so.much that it hurts.

I know i am exactly where God put me for a reason, im just struggling not being with the team.

I told my Mom  that if chad and i were both in CZ right now id be downright blissful.

We hope to get back there sometime.soon.

I cant stay away and i miss it.

Pity party, table for one.